Consciousness, intuition and life after profound change.

I did not experience Dad the way I would see somebody standing across a room. It was closer to knowing he was there. I remember details connected to the trauma room, the sense of being somewhere outside it, an overwhelming peace and a bright tunnel as I returned. Some parts are vivid. Other parts are difficult to translate into language because I did not experience them through the senses I was used to relying on.

I struggled with that almost immediately. I had spent my life explaining practical things in practical language. Now I was trying to describe something that felt more real to me than a dream and less explainable than almost anything else I had lived through. I could tell people what I remembered. I could not make the mechanics of it neat for them.

I have learned to keep the parts of the story separate. The hospital record describes what happened to my body. What I remember comes from me. What I believe it means is my interpretation. I try not to blur those things together.

I came back believing my father had been there. I still believe that. I also know I cannot prove what happened outside the medical facts, and I have spent the years since living with both the conviction and the questions.

Heaven Time was published in 2012, close enough to the event that much of what I wrote was still raw. I wrote about my medical history, the NDE, fear, anger, grief, doubt, relationships, spiritual ideas and the very uncomfortable fact that surviving had not instantly made me happy to be alive.

I was also clear that I was telling my story. I was not trying to change somebody else's religion or hand them proof of an afterlife. I had experienced something that changed me, and I was trying to understand what it had done to my life.

When I read that earlier version of myself now, I can hear how close I still was to everything. There are places where I was more certain than I would be today. There are places where I was angry, frightened or simply trying to find language for something I could not explain. I do not want to edit that woman out of the story. She was telling the truth as she understood it then.

A public biography is made of dates because dates are easy to see. A book came out in 2012. An award followed in 2014. Another recognition came in 2015. Interviews happened. Those moments matter, but they are not where most of my life was lived.

Most of it happened quietly. I kept working. I made business decisions. I lost people. Relationships changed. I made mistakes. Some seasons were full of questions about the NDE and some were consumed by whatever life had put directly in front of me.

I changed in quieter ways too. Success did not always carry the same weight it once had. I paid more attention to intuition, but I also learned that a strong feeling does not make me infallible. Self-awareness became less about having the right answer and more about noticing what was actually driving me.

The practical and spiritual parts of my life gradually stopped feeling like separate rooms. The same questions followed me into business and ordinary life. Was I feeling intuition or fear? What did I actually know? Sometimes the harder question was whether I was making a decision for the life I had, or trying to get back to the person I had been before.

That is why I became cautious with the word resilience. I did not go back to who I was before 2010. I kept working, changing and learning what still fit.

The Journal gives me room to stay with those ideas long enough to see where they go. Media and speaking put me in conversation with people who bring questions I would never have thought to ask myself. Those exchanges keep the work alive instead of turning it into a speech I repeat forever.

Private Sessions are quieter. They are one-to-one conversations for someone who wants to talk through a decision, loss, relationship, intuition, an unusual experience or another question with me. I do not tell people what their life means. I listen, ask questions and bring the practical and intuitive parts of myself into the same room.

Membership gives the work somewhere to keep growing. I want to build a body of writing, conversation and resources for people who are spiritually curious, still capable of skepticism and willing to think for themselves.